


winter nights and wasted chances

by rinharu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Bokuaka - Freeform, Breakup, Cheating, Fluff, Heavy Angst, KageHina - Freeform, Love Triangle, M/M, MSBY, Post Timeskip, SakuAtsu, angst and hurt, first time writing this kind of stuff, maybe theres fluff, msby brainrot, no beta we die like daichi, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:46:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinharu/pseuds/rinharu
Summary: "i do. i love you. but cant i just be selfish for once right now?"sakusa took a deep breath. he didn't say anything."no tsumu. you don't."it was december.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu, Kita Shinsuke/Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	1. alpas [to break free]

**Author's Note:**

> AAAA uhh this is my first time doing this kind of fic. i honestly just started writing prompts for me to draw but i ended up writing this 👁👄👁. writing isnt my forte honestly im so bad with words and im sorry theres too many mistakes here im trying sidjdjdn. and yeah..
> 
> additional!!!!:  
> the first part is not sakuatsu but i promise u sakuatsu will come in da next chapter!!
> 
> +++some parts of this story might be upsetting so read at ur own risk <3 this would probably just be a max of 2-3 chapters.

atsumu hated winter. he hated everything about it. the empty and dull clouds above blankets the sky, making any normal person feel as if the world was at its doom, at last. he hated how the snow falls against the window if its trying to make its way inside. 

he hated it. it was dreary and gloomy. as if the sun had no chance in showing up again. the closest he had to light were the iridiscent and blinding lights coming from high-rise buildings that give the city life at night. but does it matter? its fake. it still felt unwelcoming and cold. 

the blonde shut his blinds after feeling the sharp, invigorating gust of winter elapse by him.

he sighed and walked over to his bed and sat on the edge. he opened his phone and texts kept popping up.

21 missed calls.

9 unread messages.

"hey can we talk?"

"hey im sorry can we please talk?"

"tsum tsum please just let me"

"tsum are you there?"

"atsu please call me back"

"don't be like this. please."

"tsumu can i come over?"

"i can't talk about this through texts atsumu please just listen to me."

he bit his lip. a tear. one tear fell. it dropped on the cracked screen of his phone. it was one tear. his hands were stiff. but he was able to type.

"please. stop doing this to me." he replies back

as he was about to lock his phone, his phone dings right away. a reply.

"atsumu. please open the door." 

fuck. 

he stood up as quick as possible, just wanting to get this done. he made it sound easy, he thought to himself.

he reached his hand out to the cold and silver knob of his door and opens it.

there he was. kita shinsuke. standing infront of him. he was soaking wet, his skin was pale with the flush of redness on his cheek and ears. his eyes were sunken and the marks on his neck were still visible. but it wasn't atsumus. that sight angered him. he wanted to punch the wall. he wanted to scream. 

"why are you here?" is all atsumu could say.

kita shot a pleading look to atsumu. 

"tsum-tsum. please-" 

atsumu looks away, avoiding eye contact. he bites his lip and closes his hands into a fist 

"dont- call me that, anymore. please." he interrupted.

kita's eyes widened and reached out to atsumus hands before he could yank it away. but it was there. atsumu didn't pull away. he let him do it.

"look i'm sorry. please let me in so we can talk about this." he says as he holds the blondes hand to his chin.

atsumu gains the strength to look back at kita but he was shaky. his vision was blurry. the tears were falling. he looked down and licked his lips.

"kita. whats there to talk about." he says as he finally pulled his hands away from kita's.

"y-you cant even look at me anymore?" kita asks.

atsumu knew he didn't have to answer that. he obviously can't anymore. he can't even look at his twin the same. after what happened. after what he saw. the two of them. osamu and kita together. 

he had keys to osamu's apartment. they didn't want to share apartments because they've always been sleeping in the same room ever since they were kids. plus, they were both already capable of living om their own, when it comes to expenses. but he had his keys. incase of emergencies. 

atsumu had an emergency. and he went to osamu's apartment. he wanted to surprise kita because he wasn't able to pick him up from the airport. he wanted to ask his twin for help. he wanted to make it up to kita. he knocked. he rang the doorbell. no answer. he sighed and pulled his backpack to the front and zipped open the first pocket. after 10 seconds of keys clamming against eachother he finally got the right one and unlocked the door. 

as soon as he got in, he took his shoes off. but something was weird. osamu never puts his shoes infront of the door. he always puts them on the rack. never on the side. and the shoes were covered in snow and weirdly smaller. it looked familiar too. atsumu raised his eyebrows, shrugged it off and left it there.

"maybe samu was just tired. he had lots of customers than usual today anyway." he thought to himself.

he plopped his backpack on the couch and sat down. he scrunched his nose at the smell of alcohol. did samu drink again? it was quiet. until he heard a laugh. no it wasn't just a laugh. he heard giggles. theres someone else.

but it sounded familiar. too familiar.

atsumu stared at the direction of where the sound was coming from and few seconds later he decided to get up. he didn't want to barge in or disturb whatever osamu was doing with someone else. privacy right? thats why they never shared apartments. right? but he just had this gut feeling. that something was wrong. he heard it again. this time he knew. he was shaking. he felt cold. he mustered the energy to walk over to the room and stopped im his tracks again. what if atsumus ears were just messing with him. maybe it wasn't the person he was thinking of. maybe it was someone else with osamu. he thought to himself. but his gut wasnt cooperating with his mind. he dragged himself and held the doorknob and shakily, but rapidly opened it. 

he let out a breath. his eyes widened.

osamus eyes did the same. the person he was with was facing the back. he had marks trailing down to the nape of his neck and hips. his grey hair and black streaks was all over and messy. 

and the latter looked back. 

"tsum-tsum-"

"i-i can explain-"

atsumu felt a pang on his chest. like he was betrayed. by the two people he cherished most in his life. he felt like the word was crashing. he froze. he felt cold. his hands were shaking. he looked away. dropped osamu's keys and walked away. he took his backpack and put his shoe on.

Footsteps came chasing him. 

kita shows up, half naked but he covered himself with a blanket.

"tsum, look it was a mistake-" kita explains himself and grabs atsumus shoulders. 

atsumu didn't look back, but he was crying. he gripped his sweatpants and slammed his fist against the wall.

"a mistake?" atsumu scoffs.

he jerked his shoulder off from kita and opens the door to leave.

"atsumu wait." 

he stops in his tracks. ah yes. it was osamu. 

this time atsumu gained the energy to look back. he avoids kita, but looks at osamu straight in the eye. he was still shaking. he forces a smile and his eyes twitched.

"please. don't ever, come to my games anymore. thats all i could ask."

osamu pressed his lips and raked his fingers through his hair and looks back at atsumu.

"i-im so-" 

atsumu looks away again and interrupts his twin.

"no. i dont want to hear that word from you. not from you." he shook his head.

kita attempts to grab his arm one last time but he was too late.

atsumu opened the door for him to leave and slammed it shut. he left the apartment.

he felt suffocated. it was cold. it felt uninviting.  
he wanted to get crushed by the ground so badly right now. he ran. and he pressed the elevator button. 10 seconds passed. he pressed it again, this time multiple times. he was impatient. he wanted to get out of the building right away. he wanted to escape. he wanted to erase what he just saw. 

"kita please. just leave. don't do this to me. youre hurting me. i don't want to see you again please just leave me alone." atsumu said as he gestured to kita that he was gonna close the door.

kita grabbed atsumus hands again.

"atsumu. please. im sorry. but leave osamu out of this. please don't get mad at him. please don't think so badly of him anymore. please don't hate him. hes your brother, it was my fault it was all a mistake please. lay it all on me. shout at me, scream do whatever you want because i deserve it."

atsumu shook his head. he let out a shaky breath. 

"kita. if you truly want to, if you want to make things better, for the sake of us, leave. leave me alone. thats all. i can't take this anymore. you said it was a mistake, but you were there, laughing with him, you were wrapped around him, i- i can't- please just.. this is too much for me." he says while he loosens the collar of his shirt.

"atsumu. just. hear me out. please give me a chance to explain myself." this time kita's tone sounded demanding. 

atsumu took a deep breath and let him in. kita paused and he was about to take his shoes off that was covered in snow and leave it on the side. atsumu looked at it disgustingly, a memory about that shoe flickered in his mind. but he interrupted before kita could take it off.

"you don't have to leave it there. im not letting you in the living room anyway."

kita sighed. 

"i was unhappy. i didn't know what to do okay. i- i was always there for you. but you never had the time for me. everytime i would ask you to come over or talk or eat you would always tell me that youre busy training or youre with your teammates, i get that, i get that all that, youre a superstar now, its just that, i felt like all you cared about was volleyball, i mean i know how important it is to you but it wont hurt to atleast ask me if im okay right? to atleast message me if i finally ate dinner and if i didnt you would come and get me and treat me somwhere nice? but osamu..."

atsumu scoffed. he pressed his lips together and nodded. he crossed his arms. he knew. he was at fault too. he didn't need to hear anymore words from kita. he knew it wasn't a mistake. it really wasn't . because if it was, kita wouldn't have said all that to him. he just wanted this night to be over. he was tired. 

"please. leave."

it was december.


	2. tinatangi [someone special]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres ch. 2!! this is based on my experience so i decided to incorporate it into the story. 
> 
> hh its my first time writing so apologies for the mistakes once again🙏🏼✍🏻

timeskip to almost a year later after the incident.

30 november, 2019

atsumu still hated winter. he hated the sensation of his skin crawling because of the cold breeze and the snowflakes falling onto the tip of his nose. it was irritating. he brushed off the sleet that fell on his scarf and coat.

the whole msby team were walking in the crowdy and snowy streets of shibuya. 

"shoyo-kun, why didn't ya invite tobio over for drinks? i wanted to catch up with him" atsumu pouted.

"hey now, this is the only time i could go out with the whole team. kageyama can wait!" hinata proudly said as he pursued his lips and put his arms behind his head.

"woahhhhh! im so touched shoyo! this is why youre my favourite teammate." bokuto said as he ruffled hinatas hair.  
four members glared at bokuto. "say that again."  
stares were coming from every direction. 

"hey now stop it youre making a fuss! people are looking at us." meian said.

they all laughed. they love playing around all the time, especially when it comes to ticking meian off.

atsumu felt a set of piercing eyes, just staring at him. he glanced to his right then tilted his head and let out a mute gasp.

"o-omi kun? ya came? i thought you hated this place."

shibuya crossing. its the busiest and most crowded street in the world. its definitely a place sakusa would go to last. and it surprised everyone.

the others looked to the right where sakusa was and they all let out a dramatic gasp, meian shushed all of them again.

"i thought you left because i saw you in your car?" tomas asked.

sakusa hated the attention. he frowned and adjusted his facemask. 

"i was putting my things in the car because i didn't want to carry anything here. also, i wanna eat somewhere nice. and i wanted to walk."

atsumu shook his head. "but ya shoulda just said something omi-kun because ya literally scared me i thought there was someone about to murder me in the middle of the street." 

sakusa squinted and glared at him. 

"my hands would get dirty if i did. and i forgot my gloves. i wished someone did murder you for me though." he rolled his eyes.

atsumu raised his eyebrows and plastered an irritated look, thinking of a comeback, but he couldn't think of any. to avoid the embarrassment, he cleared his throat and moved his attention to hinata who was talking about kageyama and his interaction with another fan.

it went on like that and they continued walking. after 10 minutes they finally reached their destination.

"IS THIS IT????" shion and bokuto asked excitedly.

tomas frowned and later on turned into a gasp. "i knew it i saw this restaurant on netflix! it was featured on this show about food and stuff! they have the best soba and unagi!" he pointed.

hinata tapped his chin. "WOAH i've heard of them! they have the sushi conveyer too!"

"tch. its rude to point. stop that." sakusa remarked.

"such a downer omi-kun" atsumu teased

"can we go in and eat now so i can go home and shower." sakusa insisted bluntly.

bokuto snorted. "you heard him lets go."

it was fun. atsumu thought to himself. being here with his teammates, spending time with them. it was like he had his own family in tokyo. they weren't just friends because they were all teammates. no, it wasn't like that. sure, he didn't start off on a good note with bokuto because he told him about his "emo-modes" in highschool, but bokuto just laughed and shook it off. then their new addition to the team, shoyo, which he vowed to in highschool, that he would toss for him one day, and he did. they got along pretty well. then sakusa. he didn't really know how this whole dynamic they have started. their banters just began when atsumu called him omi-kun so randomly when they met in the tryouts. sakusa just glared and spit out a nasty remark. they don't hate each other though. at least. atsumu hopes.

"earth to atsumu!? yo we're doing a toast right now are you okay?" bokuto expressed while waving his right hand infront of his face, with a glass of beer on his left.

atsumu snapped back and shook his head. he lightly slapped his cheeks and grabbed his glass and raised it. his eyes caught a glimpse of another member sitting across him, who didn't raise his glass. his eyes were focused on the news played on the television. atsumu smiled. 

weird.

"3...2...1... KANPAI!!!" they all exclaimed, bokuto hitting his glass the hardest, causing shion and meians drink to spill a little.

atsumu didn't drink. his eyes focused on the black haired boy sitting across him. he put his glass down and propped his elbow. he moved his gaze to the television. 

"woah? a royal jewelry got stolen? in germany? thats cool- i mean thats too bad. but also cool..." he attempts to start a decent conversation.

sakusa didn't reply. he just stared at atsumu. blankly. expressionless.

atsumu stared back at him. 

he tilted his head. "omi kun is this a staring contest? yer seriously scaring me." 

sakusa still didn't reply. he continued to stare.

it was like they were in their own little world.

sakusa turned away, stood up and grabbed his coat behind his seat. 

"i'm tired. i'll go first." he announced and bowed.

atsumu was still confused. dumbfounded. he wanted to annoy sakusa, but for the first time sakusa completely ignored him. he didn't even scoff. sakusa just... looked at him with his abyssimal black eyes.

a number of 'ehhhhh??'s were heard. 

"oh, thats alright. kiyoomi. just text us when you get home okay?" meian replied.

sakusa nodded and bowed again. he pushes his chair back and headed out.

"o-omi kun wait for me!" atsumu grabbed his coat and didn't even bother to fix the chair back to its place.

"oiii! atsumu come back u didn't even drink your beer!" tomas exclaimed.

"its alright i don't wanna get wasted again." he replied while putting his coat on and exiting the restaurant.

a piercing breeze welcomed him on his way out. he shivered and puffed out a breath.

he looked to his left and saw the tall figure. 

he blew his hands and rubbed them together. he ran and finally caught up with the spiker.

"omi-kun you walk too fast." he whined.

sakusa glared at him.

"why did you follow me?" sakusa asked.

atsumu was startled. he expected another snarky remark from sakusa, instead he received a decent question. he didn't sound too pissed though, he thought.

"mm.. nothing, i guess i was just curious how ya go wrap yer day off." 

sakusa looked at atsumu turned away again.

atsumu raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"hey omi, why were ya staring ag me a while ago? it was creepy. it was like, luring ya victim into the enemy's trap. i got chills."

sakusa scowled.

"stop being so dramatic atsumu."

atsumu shrugged it off and kept walking. sakusa and him are not that far off with each other when it comes to height. it wasn't that obvious either that sakusa was taller. but the latter's legs were longer. thats why atsumu had to catch up.

he stopped walking and tapped sakusa's shoulder, realising right away he touched his germaphobe teammate, he yanked his hand away.

"i didn't mean to, i just wanted to remind you that you haven't answered my question." he said in defense while waving his hands in air.

"tch. its nothing. there was a bug on your hair and i was thinking if i should tell you or not. but it flew away to hinata when i was about to tell you."

atsumu looked dumbfounded. he honestly had no reason to follow sakusa. he really didn't know why he did. he just had the energy to bolt and follow him. he wasn't drunk. surprisingly, he didn't even sip. so why. why did he follow sakusa. either way, he was happy he got an answer atleast.

"come on now omi kun. are ya sure bout that? or were ya just mesmerized by my handsomeness." he teased.

he heard a deep chuckle. it was weak, soft, not that loud. 

it was muffled, thanks to the face mask.

"omi... was that you? did ya just-"

sakusa faced atsumu, realised they were blocking the way, he pulled atsumu to the side. 

sakusa towered over him.  
"listen miya, we do not talk about this. ever. if you bring this up ever, i will surely bring my gloves next time." 

atsumu stared blankly and raised his arms in surrender.

"i get it, i get it omi kun no need to threaten me with that. its seriously giving me the chills."

sakusa gave atsumu one last glare. he looks away.

"oi, if you want a ride don't just stand there."

atsumu scratches his head and let out a laugh.  
he usually just walks or takes the subway, from the gym to his apartment. for him, its his cool down after training. he uses his car only when he goes home to hyogo or to the salon where he gets his hair bleached. he always liked to walk. especially by himself. but this night, all he wanted was company. 

the taller lad walked ahead of him.

atsumu tilts his head and puts his hands to his pockets. he exhales.

sakusa kiyoomi. maybe youre not so bad after all.

and maybe...the snow felt...kind of dfferent tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if ur finally reading this.. WAHH thank uuuu!! also to those who left a kudos on the last chapter i appreciate it so much <3 and it means alot to me as an amateur. ill continue practicing and drabbling and lets see how this goes!!! tysmmm !!

**Author's Note:**

> if u finally read this, WAHHH tysmmm!! uhh comment down ur thoughts abt this so ik if i should continue or not :( but yeah there will be sakuatsu focused! this is a sakuatsu fic anyways but yeah <3 pls look forward to the next part aaaa


End file.
